Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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