You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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