Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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