he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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