i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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