Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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