He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize