Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
