'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
