my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
