im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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