he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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