how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize