Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Randomize
