okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
