What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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