I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
