Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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