So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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