I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize