last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My cat gives me a boner
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
