just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
do herpes really smell.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
