Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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