Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
