Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
