When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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