Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
