She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
