i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Drunk is not a location!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize