Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
