My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
