And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize