two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
