No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Randomize
