Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My vagina just recognized that song.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
