I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
