Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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