spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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