I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
