I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
True college students do jello shots in the library
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