You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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