Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
