She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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