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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
