They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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