butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
