It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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