he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize