Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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