Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
