we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
