every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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