1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He shit in the fireplace
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize