Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
