He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
