He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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