The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize