I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
