I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
