connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
