I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I am one with the molecules
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
