i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
