i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
