but the lizard people decide everything anyway
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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