You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
