handjob tips. give me some.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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