Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
