sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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