woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize