I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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