Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize