I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
