what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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