I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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