Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
