Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize